No Country for Horny Women

No matter when you’re reading this—June 2025, later this year, 1 decade from now, a century—there will be an ongoing moral panic about a woman doing sexuality wrong. From the first erotic novels to the feminist sex wars of the 70s and 80s to the hot girls of today, progressives (and people using the signal words of progressives) have long been in debate on the subject sex: is it good? should we do it? with who? what kinds are okay? why do we have the desires that we have; are they natural or due to patriarchy? and how can we stop sexual violence while also ensuring that all consensual sex is good sex? is consent the only value we should strive for or should we demand more? or should we all just become celibate lesbians?

I find it hard to describe myself as someone with their finger on the pulse of the culture, but from where I’m sitting, sex negativity is somewhat in vogue right now, insofar as a monoculture exists (it doesn’t anymore). Call it a sex war, call it lingering resentment, either way people are always mad at people who are horny in public, and I guess we’re talking about it.

In this month’s sex battle, we have Sabrina Carpenter’s album cover…

For the un-initiated: the cover depicts Carpenter in a semi-kinky pose. On her knees, mouth agape, in all black, wearing heels, with what appears to be a man (face not shown) pulling her hair. The album title “Man’s Best Friend” alludes to her being a dog (or a bitch) in (presumably sexual) service to said man. This is not Carpenter’s first time publicly flaunting her sexuality; she sings about being “so fucking horny” and mimics sex positions on stage at her concerts. People were already mad about this level of flagrant sex-positivity, but for many, this album cover was a step too far, particularly in the new era of conservative American politics (see: rights such as abortion being taken away, sex trafficker Andrew Tate being every teenage boy’s idol, etc.)

This is part of a rising backlash from women against the “sexual liberation” of the 90s and 2000s, activating a latent sense of dissatisfaction with the new sexual landscape. Women have more control over who they have sex with than ever, hookup culture is (was?) a thing, and yet women are still unhappy. More women than ever are stepping away from the dating scene entirely, for all intents and purposes taking a vow of celibacy in an act of protest against the general state of…well, men. (Almost a year ago to the day, dating app Bumble released an ad with the text “A VOW OF CELIBACY IS NOT THE ANSWER”, for which they received major criticism.) The most extreme among this crowd name the Korean 4B movement as an inspiration, itself a fringe, extremist group that doesn’t represent the whole of Korean feminism (more on that later).